Saturday, 16 December 2017

Get Bev and Carol in Paperback for Christmas!

All three of my humorous memoirs (Bev and Carol adventures) are available in paperback format - perfect for a fun Christmas gift.








Click the links below to view on Amazon:






Happy Days!

Wednesday, 13 December 2017

Free until 15th December

Four separate short stories to download free!


and...


an excerpt from my disturbing short story, Peaches in the Attic.


Peaches in the Attic



“Once upon a time there was a little girl, a scamp of a thing.  Inquisitive.  Always prying.  She lived in a house, deep in the forest, with her grandmother, who loved her very, very much. 
“One day, the little girl heard a noise…”

I can still recall my grandmother’s voice.  Its subtle inflections could evoke love, sympathy or terror.  I never knew which to expect.  Sitting sideways on her lap, my five-year-old legs long and scrawny, bruised and cut by swings and see-saws, I could smell her perfume, lavender, and the syrupy golden-bubbled barley sugar that she sucked constantly, moving it around her mouth, clattering it against her teeth, as she told me stories. 
Her face was plump, but had deep lines, or so it seemed to me, close-up as I was and, being young, all-seeing.  As I listened, I mapped her features, with the curiosity of a geologist, following the hilly contours of her soft-powdered cheeks, peering into the ravines that cut deep when she smiled, observing the fine ridges that appeared around her lips when she spoke, and, most of all, wondering how long it would take to count the forests of tiny hairs, invisible from a distance, but infinite and fascinating from my vantage point.  Against my fingers, they were silken, flowing in symmetry, downwards and out towards the skin around her ear, smooth and hairless, pale and delicate, where the powder had missed.  Sometimes, I could make out the boundary where it stopped, like a desert giving way to pale land. 

Grandma!  What is that scratching?  cried the little girl.  What name shall we give her?  Shall we call her Jane?  Or Lorna?”
“No!” I would protest.  “Call her Valerie!”

Tuesday, 5 December 2017

Competition ends 25th December - don't miss out!

Hello everyone. I'm running a very easy competition to win a copy of my original paperback edition of Bunny on a Bike - a humorous memoir of my time as a croupier in London working for Playboy.  Living and working in London in the 1980s was fun, but working for Playboy was nothing like I'd imagined it would be.  Glad I did it? Yes.  Carol and I, best friends, were full of youthful optimism and joie de vivre - what could go wrong?  

Follow the link for more details and to enter: http://feedaread.com/p/5965/
Good luck!


New edition also available on Amazon as an ebook or paperback:




Friday, 24 November 2017

Fun with Bev and Carol - Promotion now ENDED!

Just to let you know I'm running a price promotion on all my humorous memoirs beginning on November 28th for three - seven days (depending on the ebook).  At the bottom of this post I've included a short extract from Bunny on a Bike so you can see whether you empathise with a rather easily distracted Bev as she undergoes a particularly challenging test to become a Playboy croupier.

There are four books in the Bev and Carol series (all but one are available in paperback too):


                                                         




                                                                                                                     

                                                                                        







Here's the extract, where Bev and Carol take the second maths test included in the Playboy selection process:

More Maths (this time, ‘mental’)


Keith was right, there was more to come.

‘Please record your answers on the paper provided, clearly numbered and legibly written.  Take care to keep to the correct numbering.  You will hear the questions once and have ten seconds to calculate and note down your answer.’
We had made it through to the final hurdle.  There were twenty-seven of us left, which meant that seven of us would not get a job, according to a girl called Desdemona, who, apparently, hadn’t heard of a ‘geezer’ called Shakespeare.
Suddenly maths seemed more important.  I had scored ninety-five on the written maths test, one more than Carol. Result!  Keith had got eighty-three.

We were spaced out, spatially speaking, so that copying would be impossible this time, and I knew that I was on my own.  In some twisted way, this was invigorating as I felt, unjustifiably, that I was up to the challenge. I flexed my mental muscles and took a deep breath – oxygen to the brain, in lieu of a gin and tonic - memories of my French Oral exam at ‘O’ level came flooding back.  Carol gave me a look that said, ‘You have a bogey on the end of your nose.’  And I stared back with a, ‘Your right boob is more droopy than your left one.’  We were as relaxed as we could be under the circumstances and ready for the first question.

‘Question one.  Seven times nine?’
The numbers fed into my brain and it spoke to me: Easy peasy.  Ten sevens are seventy, less seven, means nine sevens are sixty-three.  It appeared that I had forgotten my nine times table.  Oh well, never mind.
‘Question two.  Eleven times thirteen?’
Bit more tricky. Ten thirteens are one hundred and thirty, plus thirteen, makes one hundred and forty-three.  Thank you brain. And so it went on.  After a few minutes, I heard a soft blubbing noise behind me, and Desdemona was led away by one of the assistants. One down, six to go.   I looked over to where Keith was sitting and he winked at me.  I stuck out my tongue and smiled broadly, waiting for the test to continue.

Friday, 10 November 2017

Goodreads Giveaway! NOW ENDED.



Goodreads Book Giveaway

My Grandfather's Eyes by B.A. Spicer

My Grandfather's Eyes

by B.A. Spicer

Giveaway ends November 29, 2017.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads.
Enter Giveaway

Wednesday, 8 November 2017

Free short story!

I have two offers running at the moment!  Can I tempt you to something new to read?

'Strings', a vintage sci fi short story, is free until 15th November:

View on Amazon


'My Grandfather's Eyes', mystery/psychological thriller, is just 99p/99c until 12th November:

View on Amazon


And while you're here...

My brand new paperback is now published!  'A Good Day for Jumping' has been described as intelligent, surprising and evocative.  Set in Greece, it follows the misadventures of Stephen Firth, a man of considerable wealth, who jilts his bride and runs to Crete, where he was brought up as a child.  The people he meets become more than just playthings and he begins to see that there is more to life than money and power.  'A Good Day for Jumping' is available as an ebook and in paperback.  

View book and reviews on Amazon

Friday, 27 October 2017

Excerpt from Bunny on a Bike - for fans of the 80s









1981


One

‘Why Don’t You Ask Me I Might Say Yes!’



I wanted to be a bunny as soon as I saw the advertisement.  Why wouldn’t I? There was no question that it was the most interesting job prospect I’d seen so far. I thought: casinos, glamour, fast cars and millionaires.  But most of all I thought it would be better than working for a living.  So I told Carol and she said we would go to London together.  Easy.  After all, we didn’t have anything else planned for the rest of our lives.  We had both put in just enough effort to get our degrees and, having got this far, didn’t have a clue what to do with them.  Some of our friends were going to be doctors, solicitors or even teachers.  They knew what they wanted.  I hated them all. 
We met up at King’s Cross, eventually.  Carol had managed to get herself almost arrested for slipping past the toilet attendant but, in a stroke of genius, had invented a relative who worked as a toilet attendant in Exeter station and who had been given an award for the cleanest toilets in the South West of England.  Mary, the London loo keeper, thought that she had heard of auntie Georgina and asked Carol to make sure to pass on her regards, before pressing a free token into her hand and wiping a metaphorical tear from her eye, saying that it had been a great pleasure to make her acquaintance and that, when you got up in the morning, you never knew what was going to happen.